Thursday, April 16, 2009

He is the one with the problem

I was just in a relationship for all of...........wait for it............wait........3 fucking days! And how did this end, you ask? With him dumping me via facebook message! He told me that I am amazing, that I am one of the best things to ever happen to him, that he can't believe someone as beautiful as me would be interested in him, but apparently I have a drinking problem. And he cannot turn a blind eye to my problem. WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK?! I am not only angered at his obvious judgement, but also the fact that the pussy chose to end it via facebook message. Don't I at least deserve a fucking phone call?! Looking back on it, however, I don't wish to have spoken to him. I never want to talk to him ever AGAIN. After filling my head with all this bullshit and realizing that I need to stop giving guys a chance after my initial gut reaction is "Eh, he really isnt my type. A friend, perhaps, but not someone I should date." I am just so annoyed and angry not to mention hurt. I have to start listening to my instincts! I have to quit giving every joe shmo a fucking chance.

I think one issue he has with my drinking is that he is afraid I am going to get messed up and cheat on him since this is what has happened to him in the past.

An example (from his dump message): You would just be doing it behind my back and I would just be wondering where you were and what you were doing. It isn't really fair to either one of us and I'm sure it would only cause more problems down the road as we started caring for one another more.

Trust issues? I believe so.

I also think a great deal of it is because he himself had a drinking problem in the past. And that I could have been very sensitive to. I am a sensitive, understanding, caring individual and if he couldn't be around it that much, then I wouldn't have brought it around him unless he wanted to have a few.

An example (from ultimatum facebook message): I'm not going to get pulled down that path again.

Basically, I received an ultimatum after dating for 3 weeks and being in a relationship for 3 days. Controlling much? What would have been next? Would he have started ordering for me at restaurants, cutting me off mid order saying, "No, she won't be having the mashed potatoes. Bring her the vegetables, no butter, no salt." WTF?! If I said, "Hey, it's girls night and we are going out for dinner and drinks" would that have turned into a night of constant texts and phone calls asking where I was, who was there, how much I had to drink, when I was coming back?!

I do not, I repeat, DO NOT have a freaking drinking problem nor am I going down any sort of destructive path. Yes, my past is dirty. I went down some bad ones, but you know what, I pulled myself up outta the dirt, dusted myself off, and moved on. Yeah I drink a few a few nights a week. I drink to get drunk once maybe twice a week. I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. I enjoy an impromptu mimosa with friends during breakfast. I do not get drunk every day. I do not even drink every day even tho he seems to beg to differ. I do not think about drinking all day every day. My best friend said, "dude if you have a drinking problem, then I should be in rehab." My lifestyle is different from his. I am sorry you had a problem in your past. I am sorry others around you had problems and fell into alcoholism. I've seen it too! It's not going to happen to me. I'm sorry your ex-girlfriends got messed up and cheated on you. Not fair to pass that judgement on me. We are not all the same.

I am, however, very glad this came out now and not a few months down the road.

I am a responsible, intelligent, grown ass woman!!!! You, sir, can go fuck yourself and the high horse you rode in on!