1 new friend request: An old fling

A guy that I had a sort of fling with when I was in high school found me on facebook yesterday. It got me to thinking. There was a time in our society that once you lost contact with these people, that was pretty much it. The only way you could get back in touch with them would be through snail mail, if they or you happened to have an address or could find them in the phone book, or perhaps somehow got your phone number through someone. That takes quite a bit of effort so it seems that even though you may think of someone from your past, would you really want to go through all that just to get in touch with them? Most likely not. Now a days all you have to do is create a facebook or myspace profile and do a name search. Pretty much everyone is online.

The point I am trying to get to here (there is one, I promise) is how does one or more of these people from your past friend requesting you on one of these sites effect a current relationship? My boyfriend and I have declared our doors completely wide open as far as communication is concerned. Now more than ever open communication between partners is one of the MOST important aspects to keep a relationship strong and healthy. I don't keep anything from him and vice versa. I had a split second thought yesterday when I saw a comment from the guy I mentioned at the beginning of this blog to just delete it. Whoosh. Gone. Didn't happen. That's what the old Jesslyn would have done. Hidden it. I was scandelous back then. Times have changed and they have changed greatly! And granted all the guy said was: jesslyn I would love to see or talk to you. I knew I would have to explain this to my boyfriend. If some girl had left a comment on his page, I know I'd be asking questions. I decided the right course of action was to comment on the comment and let him know I am involved and happy. Then at dinner last night, I told the bf about the comment and who the guy is. Now, if this was like 1989 and not 2009, that guy would have been history. No need to even tell the current boyfriend about this guy because I hadn't spoken to him since I was like 17. I currenly have a few exes on my friends list because, yeah, there's no hard feelings and I'd still like to be friends (and only friends. there's a reason they're exes). My boyfriend understands that and trusts me. He even thanked me last night for being open and honest and letting him know. It's just really strange to me when I think about the fact that these people would otherwise be completely out of your life. And here they are, poppin up on a friend request, leaving comments that you need to explain to your current partner. I know I have to contain my jealousy knowing that my boyfriend is in contact with some of his exes/flings. In these instances, I come to realize that we are both happily, crazily in love with each other and none of these people from our pasts can or will take that away from us. However, how strange is it to have to explain who these people are to your otter (yes I meant to say otter) half once they have left a comment like that? Technology is neat and makes things easier, but it can also make things more complicated. It's a catch 22 for sure.